Isibaya: For better or worse

04 April 2016
It’s a tough step for some but it’s got to be done. It was time for Skhaleni’s family to talk lobola with Pam’s.
Isibaya: For better or worse Image : 916

Last week Skhaleni and Pam decided to take an important step closer to marriage. It’s a tough step for some but it’s got to be done. It was time for Skhaleni’s family to talk lobola with Pam’s. A part of the game that is often dreaded because of the huge financial expectations, their negotiations got off to a tricky start to say the least.

Too late for lobola

From uBuhle kaNtandane breaking down in the middle of no where on the way, to arriving late and paying fine after fine for behaving badly, things seemed doomed from the start. It certainly didn’t help their case that Skhaleni’s offer was lower than usual. Another thing they didn’t see coming for miles and miles, was Pam’s fire-breathing no-nonsense taking powerhouse of an aunt leading a matriarch strong lobola delegation.

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Indeed, folks were going to have to do things her way.

For most lobola negotiations there are two decisive steps. The first is both families negotiating a fair deal by convincing the other family why their son or daughter is a good catch. The second part, somewhat of a test, is for the groom to identify his bride among the women presented to him.

This should have been painless enough, except that Pam’s aunt was set on making it a downright agonizing undertaking. Not only did she demand an exorbitant R150,000, when the time came for Skhaleni to identify his bride she shrouded the ladies with a blanket revealing only their toes for the poor guy to choose from. Needless to say, he just couldn’t Pam’s toes from a bar of soap.

Toe jam!




It was clear that the aunty was setting Skhaleni up for failure and couldn’t care less that she was sabotaging their marriage. For a distant aunt, who was never there for Pam, it was all unfair. It was time to put things into perspective and who other than Iris to stand up for Pam?

Let my Pammy be!

It might not have been the best way in the world but Iris stood up for Pam against a long lost aunt who just wanted to profit from amalobolo. With the negotiations out of the way are Skhaleni and Pam going to set a date for the big day?

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