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My Flatmates


Why did Prosper cross the road? – My Flatmates

17 March 2021
Here are five things that will motivate Prosper to move body.
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Oya, when it comes to this Flatmate, we know that getting to the other side isn’t the only reason to cross the road! If there’s no reward attached to a task, expect very little to no results at all. Here are the five reasons Prosper even makes an effort in this Lagos.

1. The Vermiums matter most!

Prosper (and Titus as an accomplice) will not move a muscle or do anything beyond fulfilling his gateman duties if he isn’t promised a plate of rice, well-pounded yam, or anything edible for that matter. In fact, he will not even help Frank verify if the jokes he has prepared for his next show are funny if there’s no vermium-eliminating reward on offer. Give bros something to eat without him asking – and he’ll sing your praises all day and tell everyone that enters the compound how generous you are.

2. A babe is a babe is a babe!

Do you people remember how love-struck the Prosper/Titus duo always is when one or two of Baba Landlord’s nieces swing by? Eheh! Prosper adores his bench and will not leave it unless there’s something interesting to look at elsewhere. Remember when he found Baba Landlord getting a massage for his sore back and decided to fake an injury (called vermium) of his own? Yup! Titus isn’t a saint either, jare! Bros is capable of leaving his clients’ hair half done if a babe so much as looks his way twice. What’s that thing they say about birds of a feather? Eheh!

3. I’m the grapevine!

Being the man in charge of the compound’s entry and exit administration has its benefits o! Before anything reaches the leafy greens inside Frank’s house, Prosper already knows what’s up and isn’t afraid to add Naira value to the info he eaves droppingly collects. If you want to know why auntie Mimi bolted out of the house upset, or who came to Baba Landlords for the holidays? ‘Prosper Daily’ is the bulletin to ‘invest’ in. No Naira, no gossip!

4. Bottoms up, cares gone! 

The one true way to Prosper’s heart is through a green bottle with volumised liquid inside it, period! If you wronged him or deprived him of yam porridge when he needed it most, a drink will not only earn you bros’ forgiveness, but it’ll also earn you his respect. In fact, alcohol is equivalent to total bliss, so If you want things done right, give bros a drink.

5. Add Titus to the mix

If you are serious about getting anything done through Prosper, make sure you make room for his pal Titus. Want him to run an errand in the market? Call Titus! Want him to wash your car? Call Titus too! Want to know why he wasn’t at his post when you were outside honking for entry? Ask his barrister, Titus. If life was a coin and Prosper was ‘heads’, guess who ‘tails’ is? Eheh!

Watch My Flatmates every weeknight at 18:30 on AM Showcase DStv CH 151 for some good old gags and laughs. Also available to watch on the DStv app on any connected device.