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Dear Aunty: On rekindling relationship sparks – Ultimate Love

18 March 2020
It’s that time of the week again where I answer all the relationship questions you sent to the DMs. Enjoy!

It goes down in the DMs every week and this week, I got a lot of questions on age difference, dealing with trust issues and keeping the relationship fire burning. Let’s go!

Q: My husband has temper and trust issues. How do I handle and help him get over this issue?



My goodness! At what point in time did you realise this, didn’t this show while you guys were in the dating/courtship stage? With this wahala of trust, you’ve got to find ways to earn his trust. It’s a tough chore but to be honest you have to get ready to spend most of your time getting him to trust you and hopefully with this, this tones down the anger issues in your marriage. The question you should ask yourself is, can you live with this? While I leave you to answer this, find a right time to calmly talk to him about this. Good luck!

Q:  How do I tackle my partner and his friends? They are everywhere he goes!


Does he work with MTN? Okay now, jokes apart, I always say this – was your partner doing all these things when you were just getting to know each other? Did you have any issues with it then or did you accept it? So if his friends were in the picture before, how do you intend to get them out now? Communication is key, hopefully with the right amount of understanding, he’ll hear and adhere to your wishes about him and his friends. Be sure to keep me posted, okay?

Q: What do you think about age difference in a relationship?” How wide is too wide or how narrow is too narrow?


See ehn, this question is relative to the couple in question. I have some female friends that have dated and are currently married to men that they don’t know are younger than them until a few years down the line. This simply means what they’ve been looking out for is the level of maturity and compatibility. In my opinion, age only becomes an issue when the partners involved are not comfortable with the difference. If you’re scared of the level of respect you’ll give a partner that is younger then you, then you should question your marital values and adjust anything that you think will compromise a happy marriage/relationship.

Q: My boyfriend says that I am too good for him, please what does this mean?


Hello, it simply means he doesn’t want you. How can somebody be too good for you? Let me add this to the list of breakup excuses, you should too dear.

Q: Please Aunty, I am in a relationship and I don’t feel anything for my partner. Should I stay away?


What exactly are you doing in a relationship with someone you don’t feel anything for? If there is a void in the physical or mental connection, then what are you doing there? Unless you’ve been dared to do it, you have no business punishing yourself or partner in such a relationship.

Q: What are some of the things that me and my partner can do to rekindle our spark again?


The keyword here is rekindling; that means there was a spark before. Strike the matchstick again and find that fire in your relationship. I’m not saying you should go and burn it o.

Q: My ex dumped me for no reason but I’m still in love with her. It’s been seven months now and I can’t get over her. What are some of the practical steps I need to take to move on?


Seven months but did you die? It means you can survive darling. Focus on somebody else in your present. Meet somebody new, do more of the things you love, take your past and tuck it under the rug, while you focus on a beautiful future ahead. Go have fun!

I had so much fun answering these questions and I hope you had a blast reading this too. Which of these questions can you relate with? Let’s talk using #UltimateLoveNG on social media.

Alright lover, see you again next week.

With 💖, Aunty.

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