CSI: Vegas

101Crime16 V

Gil Grissom and his quirky quotes

22 February 2022
He has had some remarkable lines on CSI.
CSI: Vegas season 1

While there are some who are overjoyed to see the return of the character Gil Grissom, first appearing in the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and now in its sequel CSI: Vegas, we need to back track a little to refresh people’s minds.

  • William Petersen portrays the character whose full name is actually Gilbert Arthur Grissom.
  • He has a Ph.D. and is portrayed to be quite the intellect yet lacking a little bit of EQ, ala Sherlock Holmes. But it only adds to his quirky and clever nature, instead of marring it.  
  • He plays a crucial role as a forensic entomologist (meaning he studies insects in relation to crimes), and in the 10th season of CSI, he was promoted to a supervisor.
  • His office always has insects in jars and other creepy crawlies in frames.
  • He comes across as a father figure to his colleagues, yet remains professional. But by the end of his stint, he had been romantically involved with a team member, Sara Sidle, who also returns to CSI: Vegas.

Right, now that’s out of the way, here are a few of our favourite quotes from episodes of CSI, whether it be one-liners or a conversation with his colleagues, Gil is the king of corny, no disrespect intended because it is really a good kind of corny.

Grissom: [Touches the body] "And she's stiff ... like a two-minute burrito that's only been nuked for a minute."

Brass: “So, you planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?” 🐷
Grissom: “It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.”
Brass: “I thought your bugs never made mistakes.”
Grissom: “They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket or clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight – maybe tighter than I realised ­– which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects.”
Brass: “So it took longer for the insects to get in there?”
Grissom: “And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.”
Brass: “Well, let me ask you this. You killed a pig just for this?”
Grissom: “This poor ham was already on its way to someone's Christmas dinner table.”

Brass: “Lepidro. What kind of name is that?”Grissom: “It's from Lepidoptera, meaning "butterfly." Walter Clancy started out a gender-dysmorphic caterpillar and turned into a bloody butterfly.”

Grissom: "He [Mark Thaye] manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical. But many of us are no better than politicians, evidently."

Grissom: “Truth is, a moral compass can only point you in the right direction; it can't make you go there. Our culture preaches that you shouldn't be ashamed of anything you do anymore and, unfortunately, this city is built on the principle that there's no such thing as guilt. 'Do whatever you want; we won't tell.' So without a conscience, there's nothing to stop you from killing someone and evidently, you don't even have to feel bad about it.”

Didn’t we say he is a great mix of eccentric intelligence? What do you love most about this character? Follow the conversation on Twitter (MNet), Instagram (mnettv) and Facebook (M-Net). 

Sources: IMDB, TV quotes