If you haven’t seen the latest episode of Sankofa, watch it now so you can get an insight into what we’ll be talking about today. It’s packed with love lessons that can soften even the most cynical of hearts; literally! ‘Love come back’ stories are not always glamourous and sweet – and just two episodes down the season, Sankofa has given us enough love lessons to last a lifetime.
Before you consider getting back together with an ex-flame, you need to answer a few important questions that will serve as your checklist. The first thing to do is to analyse the reason behind the breakup. Did something happen that neither of you can move past? Needing a little push in the right direction? Here are some signs that suggest you can go full steam ahead. After all, for some, love can be sweeter the second time around.
Sign 1: You realise the reason you broke up can be fixed
Carefully think about the reasons you both decided to call it off and analyse the situation. If your answer suggests that you can move past it, then that’s a great sign.
Sign 2: The thought of dating anyone else isn’t so pleasing
Your friends and family keep trying to get you to move on, but you can't even think about being with anyone else. There's no one else you’d rather be with because you could never have what you and (ex) bae did.
Sign 3: Your ex wants to get back together
If this is the case, you must put YOUR feelings first and decide whether it's really the best relationship for you, regardless of what your ex wants. However, you should note that as hard as it is to let go of someone you really cared about, if they're not open to a reunion, it's better to focus your energy on moving on instead of trying to change their mind. As cheesy as this sounds, if it's right, they'll always come back. It’s true (to a large extent lol).
Sign 4: Your ex seems genuinely sorry about what happened
This should be the first sign to look out for. To trust your ex and move forward, you need to know they understand why you were upset and that they are sorry for hurting you. Oh, and vice versa! Otherwise, you'll just end up dealing with the same thing that broke you up the first time. On this episode of Sankofa, before Fred and Nash got back together, Michael Katahena and The Fixers made sure they both squashed issues of the past – and this made the process seamless for them afterwards.
Sign 5: You've forgiven them and vice versa
You have to truly forgive them. Sure, an apology is a good first step but be sure that you can let go of your anger and accept what happened, instead of just trying to forget it and act like the past didn’t happen.
Not so fast! Now that the signs may or may not be clear, here are some Do’s and Don’ts to take note of.
- Do set boundaries about how you will and won't be treated. Let them know your deal-breakers in this next phase of the relationship.
- Do tell them what you learned about yourself and your relationship during the time apart.
- Don't get back together until you have assessed why you broke up in the first place and whether you can move past the reason you split up.
- Don't continue to bring up everything that happened in the past if you do get back together.
If you can relate to the signs mentioned above, then you should not let anything stop you from getting your ex love back. Good luck!
For more love tips, watch Sankofa every Saturday at 8:00pm on Akwaaba Magic DStv CH 150.