Biggie surprised the Housemates yesterday with some beautiful pet fish to keep them company. Some of the Housemates were excited, some were scared and some were just downright confused about what to do. However, they all eventually named their fish and ascribed various personalities to them; from fun, cranky and even... bipolar. Tough crowd!
But, how do you know a fish is bipolar, or cranky, or both? Did you speak to the fish? Have you ever even tried to get its perspective on things? Well, with these questions in mind we decided to do just that, by way of some pretty fishy one on one Diary Sessions with some of the new residents of the Big Brother Naija House.
Don’t ask us if we used juju to speak to the fish. We are also not aware how this happened. All we know is; the Diary Sessions are here! 👀
So here’s how it went.
Biggie: Hello, Neon. How has life been with your new owner?
Neon: Hey, Biggie. First of all, my overactive and ever-chatty owner thinks I am plain. Can you imagine? Mchweew! He says that’s why he named me Neon – to colour my world. 🙄 Anyway, despite all of that, I'm glad I bring a little calm to his ever-busy life. Can't be easy being tied at the hip to Nini and going everywhere she goes. 😩 Looks tiring, Biggie. No shade, but he seems to live for it. It's kind of sweet though. I heard she has a boyfriend outside the House, but who am I to judge? I swim in a tiny fishbowl all day long, so I guess me and Saga are even. Won't lie though, I'm kind of scared I might come out of here with fin muscles (if he doesn't drop my bowl: did you see how that man ripped Biggie's House to shreds the other day? Lol.) because how obsessed is he with working out?
Biggie: Hello, Cranky. How are you doing today?
Cranky: Not good, Biggie.😡 City Pond Girls are in the mud. Can you believe Angel named me "Cranky"? Like, what gives? She did not even bother to ask me why I was uneasy when I first came into the House. Try being pulled from a life underwater, to being thrown into a chaotic mix of lights, cameras and Queen's diamante outfits? Of course, my head will start pounding and I will need a little lie-down before meeting the geng. Imagine calling a City Pond Girl like me "Cranky"! I'm not feeling that. That's not going to fly, PERIOD! Guess I go show am Pepper.
Jackie B’s Fish
Biggie: Hello, Treasure. How is your day going?
Treasure: It’s going really well, Biggie. I won't lie, I've had a great experience with my new owner. I think she is warm, but I think she is overprotective at times; overprotective of me and others. Yesterday, I heard her tell Cross to "Shine his eye" and not allow women in the House to use him because dynamics are changing. Apparently, there's a triangle between him, Cross and Jaypaul, but he now also likes Angel. And I quote: "I'm going to put more energy into Angel. I like her." That's what I heard him say. I don't know what's going on here, but it sounds like it's about to get messy. Can't wait!🔥
Biggie: Hello, Gem. Welcome to your Diary Session. Tell me how your time with your new owner has been.
Gem: Hey, Biggie. I am doing so-so. Honestly, I have a few complaints about my owner. Firstly do you know she almost fed me to death last night?😨 I mean how much can one little fish eat? Help me. I don't know if I'll survive the week, tbh – and that makes me sad in my scales. Also, I've never met anyone who talks from sunup to sundown like that, Big Brother. Wow 😭 I can't even nap because she and Saga (her bestie, or boyfriend? Not sure) are always whispering or giggling about something. The worst thing is she doesn’t seem to understand my obsession with rearranging my home. I am a fish with taste and I can’t stand a boring design, but she and her friend tagged me "bipolar" because of that. I know what it is though. They do not understand the advances made in underwater interior decoration, so I don’t bother with their ignorance anymore. Chucking up the deuces!✌
Biggie: Hello, Obianuju. Tell Biggie how your day is going well.
Obianuju: Hey Biggie! I am chill and cool as usual. You know me. I no get time for drama.😊 I also noticed my new owner is pretty chill. But I won't lie, it's making me a tad nervous. He named me Obianuju because he got me during a time of joy, which is quite cool. However, Biggie... can I confide in you about something?😟
Biggie: Go ahead, Obianuju.
Obianuju: Not to be dramatic or anything, but Biggie – I can't shake the feeling that this guy is probably going to cook me someday. 😭 He is always in the kitchen; I'm talking morning, noon and night. Last night, I saw him cook some distant cousins of mine – and I won't lie, that has scared the living daylights out of me because he seems to be quite handy in the kitchen. Someone said something about the Housemates running out of noodles at times, and I am not sure if I may look like a meal when things get bad. Also, the Housemates love eating after their Jacuzzi Party. Will I find myself on the grill one of these days? Biggie am I safe in his care?
Biggie: Hello, Athena. Welcome to your Diary Session. Tell Biggie how your new owner is.
Athena: Well, he is cool. He named me Athena because the stripes on my body remind him of war. 😂 I don't know why he is talking of war so much, but I think it has something to do with Saskay. I hope he knows if we enter war-front with Cross, I go leave am run comot for battlefield. I was made for the soft life, abeg. But, I've got my eye on him. He seems very calm, but I don't know if anything might pop off. Where hearts are involved, anything can happen. Other than the threat of possibly going to war, I'm good. I noticed his fear at first when he met me, but I think he is settling into the caregiver role nicely. I am optimistic, Biggie. I believe this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship (if I don't get dragged into any fights of course). 😊
Biggie: Hello, Blue. How is your day going? Tell me about your new owner.
Blue: Hey, Biggie. I am doing good thanks. I like my new owner. She acts a bit different than I thought she would (I follow her on Fishstagram), but I like it. I think she's super calm these days because of all the responsibility that comes with being Deputy Head of House, but I know she fought about a dirty pan with someone called Sammie (never met him), the other day. Hope there was no fish-frying happening in that pan, but we move. Anywho, loved those HoH Games with a TWIST this week! Biggie, there's one thing I'm stressed about though – and I don't know if I'm being dramatic here. But, my owner is always dancing – and I mean ALWAYS! 😭 I don't know if I can keep up, honestly – and I am scared she will want me to do the same very soon. There is only so much dance my little fins can take! Dancing like I am in battle is not my portion o. I am putting it out there before I collapse in my little bowl, Biggie. Thank you.
Biggie: Hello, Ariel. Welcome to your Diary Session. Tell Biggie about your new owner.
Ariel: Hey, Biggie! My new owner gave me one of the sweetest names. I can't get over it, honestly. It reminds me of the Beyoncé of the ocean, Ariel; she of the red hair. #ArielHive 😍 My owner is sweet to me, but I've noticed how he switches to this militaristic character that scares the hell out of me sometimes. I peed in my bowl a little today when I overheard a conversation he had with his friend. He mentioned how he needs to "drill me in the ways of the military". Abeg! Why is this so? Is there something you are not telling me, Big Brother? Why would a sweet little fish like me be given military training? I also heard something about "dominant fish" and "subjugating other fishes" and I am a little lost. I don’t know who he is speaking about and why, but I hope to find out soon.
Biggie: Hello, Targaryan. Tell Biggie how you feel about your new owner
Targaryan: First of all, this man is ALLERGIC to me, Biggie. That's the first problem. He has been acting all cute and whatnot, trying to take his time to 'bond' with me. Pfft! What a big pretender – and to think he named me after a strong television dynasty. On the bright side, I am relieved my owner will never use me to make fish pepper soup anytime soon. Thank you, allergies! Can't say the same for Obianuju though (Whitemoney's pet).👀 She is probably peeing her imaginary fish pants every day.😂 Anyway, my owner seems like a cool guy. I have noticed his fondness for a pretty lady who hasn't made up her mind. I think it makes him sad sometimes because I overheard him say he wants to marry her and give her kids. I won't lie, I'm a little nervous about the weekend though, Biggie. Apparently, my owner dons a white gown and shades and morphs into something called "Cross da boss," then he drinks like me; like a fish. I am legit scared he might replace the water in my bowl with alcohol.😨 Am I safe? Will I not end up in the Jacuzzi this Friday?
Biggie: That would be a bummer, wouldn't it?
Targaryan: Biggie! 😭
Biggie: Hello, Nemo. Welcome to your Diary Session. Tell Big Brother how you feel about your new owner.
Nemo: So when I first met him, I thought "Oh! Here’s a quiet fellow" but boy was I wrong. All a friend had to do was ask him a question and boy did my ears bleed out. This man spoke for hours on end and I could not for the life of me understand how he had so much to say. Well I guess I will never be bored with him around. Also i found out about his love for cars and how he would like to have a tv show focused on cars. I think that’s a pretty good idea but i hope he can keep me safe when he starts drifting or doing whatever crazy things young people do these days.✌
Biggie: Hello, Green. Welcome to your DIary Session. Tell Biggie what you feel about your new owner.
Green: Hey Biggy. I like her a lot. She's really cool and friendly, but I won't lie, I'm trying to keep my distance. I took a look at her wardrobe yesterday and she has lots of shiny fishnets and clothes I can get caught in. 😭 I think I even saw an outfit made of scales. I know she's a fashionista, but I'm kind of scared, Big Brother. To make matters worse, she's always at Whitemoney's side. She cooks and shuts it down in the Kitchen. I am bothered, to put it plainly. I had a chat with Obianuju about her owner and mine and we're trying to form an alliance to ensure we don't get cooked this week. We're not trying to get used in a soup or barbeque. Can you at least guarantee our safety, Biggie? Biggie are you there? ...Big Brother...
Biggie: ...Carry on
Green: Biggie, I asked if you can guarantee my safety in the House.
Biggie: Your Diary Session is over
Biggie: Hello, Teka. Tell Biggie how you are feeling today.
Teka: Well, Biggie at first I felt really good but now not so much. My owner has not been in a good mood lately and it’s really affecting our bond.
Biggie: What happened to your owner?
Green: Mehn! Biggie it’s man troubles o. You know those two guys who are into her? Jaypaul and Cross? Anyway, she chose to spend more time with one over the other – and then Cross, the one she was not paying too much attention to decided he would move on, and then the most shocking thing happened. Jaypaul, who she smooched recently, has decided to call it quits. Can you imagine? I think it's because she seems to be hanging out with Cross more this week. It's all so confusing honesty, but I know she has made it clear she doesn't want to be in a relationship in the House and if you ask me, she shouldn't feel obligated to make a choice. I really hope what my name stands for (Destiny's friend) will really come into play in this situation. I didn't like to see her cry in the garden and will do my best to put a smile on her face until she figures out what the next step is.
Biggie: Hello, Black. Welcome to your Diary Session. Tell me how you feel about your new owner.
Black: Honestly, I don't know, Big Brother. My new owner is kinda mysterious. He seems like a cool-headed guy, but I am scared there may be a side to him that he is not showing anyone. I mean he said he named me after a side of him that is, well...dark. I don’t know about you, but boy do I not want to see that side anytime soon. But maybe I do, so I can figure out what he is about. Apart from that, he seems to hang around this very energetic dancer A LOT! I just hope they don’t try to make me best buddies with her own fish. Yes, I am not really into Blue (Liquorose’s fish) like that. I think she has a bit of an attitude. I may be wrong though, we will see as time goes by.
Biggie: Black. Your Diary Session has come to an end.
Black: Thank you, Big Brother. This was fun!
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