The Premier League is bringing the goals, and Damalie is bringing the drama. But what happens when these two worlds collide? Pure, chaotic, can’t-miss entertainment!

Damalie: Manchester United
The once-glorious queen of everything. Like Manchester United, Damalie lives off her history, forever reminding everyone of her golden days. “Remember when I was on top?” Yes, Damalie, we remember. But these days, let’s just say the trophy cabinet is resting. She’s down, not out; but definitely not what she used to be.

Solaire: Liverpool
Bold, unpredictable, and ruthlessly emotional, Solaire channels Liverpool energy to perfection. She doesn’t play fair; she plays fierce. When she’s on form, no one dares stand in her way. She might go quiet for a moment, then suddenly unleash a full 5 – 0 of feelings on everyone around her.

Joel: Arsenal
Smart, charming, and finally getting it together, that’s Joel. Like Arsenal, he’s got strategy, flair, and a touch of vulnerability when the pressure hits. He comes so close to perfection you can almost taste victory; then somehow manages to miss by “that much”. Still, you can’t help but admire his artistry.

Suzan: Tottenham Hotspur
Sweet, hopeful Susan. Like Tottenham, she dreams big and loves hard, only for heartbreak to sneak in at the final whistle. You can’t even be mad; you just sigh, pat her shoulder, and whisper, “Maybe next season, love.”

Josiah: Brighton & Hove Albion
Calculated, composed, and quietly winning hearts, Josiah gives big Brighton energy. He doesn’t need the spotlight; he just makes clever moves that always pay off. No theatrics, a little bit of chaos; just steady growth and smart decisions.

Zabuli: Manchester City
The calm before the storm, Zabuli arrived without fanfare, then flipped the table and owned the room. Just like Man City, she’s efficient and impossible to ignore. You may not see her coming, but when she strikes, everyone feels it.

Pinto: Everton
Our reliable background player, Pinto is Everton. Always around, sometimes brilliant, sometimes confusing, but never missing. Everyone knows him yet somehow forgets to notice him. Still, the show wouldn’t be complete without him; because honestly, what’s a Damalie season without a little Pinto magic?

If Damalie FC existed, the tactics would be emotional, the goals dramatic, and the red cards? Always for love.

Catch Damalie every weekday at 8:30 pm on Pearl Magic Prime and stream all the Premier League games on DStv and GOtv.