Abasemzini is refreshing departure from outdated tropes of the relationship between wives and their mothers in law as inherently toxic. Instead the reality show, which airs on 1Magic Fridays at 21:00, focuses on equipping these family pairings with new conceptual tools for negotiating their differences. Each episode finds co-pilots Lehasa Moloi and Puleng March working with pyschological experts to empower these women to bridge several gaps, from generational differences, to cultural, emotional and more, towards a journey of total healing. These are some valuable lessons we've learned on the show:
LISTENING IS A SUPERPOWER
Many of the wives and their mothers in law have suffered under the affliction of not listening to each other. As they relate to each other, some disagreements can lead to long-lasting strife. Yelling, dismissing, gaslighting or talking over each other has meant some of the simplest misunderstandings have been concealed and later blown out of proportion. Mam' Ntombi and her daughter in law have been perfect examples on how listening goes a long way.
At some point, someone will have to be willing to compromise. The mothers in law have found themselves having to let go of some expectations, especially ones anchored in the need to preserve certain family and cultural practices. The year is 2021, some of the things will have to evolve and reflect a new landscape. The wives, on the other hand, have had to learn that they are now married to an entire family. They don't do sushi here, so you will have to be open to learn how the family does certain things.
And that easily leads us to humility. Some of the tasts Lehasa has given the family pairings have exposed how pride and resistance lies at the core of why these families continue to be distabilised by the influence of pride. In truth, everyone must be learn to operate from a place of humility. That will in turn help you to listen without judgement, be open without feeling like you are yielding to someone's unfairness, and compromise without feeling threatened.
Someone once said grudges are essentially graveyards. Don't ask us who said that, but it works. Whether it's Mam' Lizzy and Petunia recalling old things that have built up to cause a subtle rift between them through time, or Mam Johanna and Khosi having to settle tensions from years ago, forgiviness and letting go has proven to be essential in nurturing healthy relationships.
If you aren't developing a fun relationships filled with inside jokes, banter, lots of laughing and a bit of light shade, then all you left is how tough the world is.
Abasemzini airs on 1Magic, Fridays at 21:00. Join the conversation on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter using the hashtag #1Magic