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Ten things you must know before dating a pastor – Pastor Wants A Wife S2

23 June 2022
Read this article first before you say "yes" to dating that pastor who's been eyeing you.
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Are you someone who loves the Lord? Can you hold a conversation on your knowledge of the Bible? If you said yes to any of these, then you can consider dating a pastor to ultimately become a first lady of a ministry.

On the reality TV series Pastor Wants A Wife Season 2, one of the things most of the ladies have in common is that they have God in their life. Viewers also saw that some women were eliminated from the show because of certain things that were "red flags" to the pastor.

Based on what we have seen on the show, here are at least ten things you should consider if you want to date a pastor:

1. Expect that he might want a wife, not a girlfriend.
If you’re considering to date for fun and you’re someone who are vocal about not rushing into marriage, think again. Pastor Bae might want to date with the mission to marry in a very near future. It is important to talk to him beforehand about what his intentions are.

2. Your values must align with his.
Viewers saw that Pastor Tshegofatso Modisakeng (known as Pastor Tshego) eliminated some women from the show, because they had different values – Buhle Zondo was open about her ancestral calling, and Nelly Mola had not grieved her husband long enough. The pastor also said several times in the series that if he doesn’t agree with something that his wife is doing, he would sit her down and say to her “this is how we do it in this house.”

3. His views might surprise you.
Many people think there is a template to how a pastor should look or act; some even think that all pastors’ views are similar. Nope, that’s not the case. It’s good to ask your questions to see where his head is at, who knows, he might surprise you.

4. Visiting his church might mean that you will enjoy the service on your own.
Your pastor bae might be busy at the altar – whether he’s busy singing in the choir or preaching – during the whole church service. It’s not you, it’s just part of the protocol.

5. Be ready for conflict.
There might be people who disagree with things that the pastor is doing or saying, and they might share it publicly. You might also find that Pastor Bae will humble himself when there are disagreements, simply because he wants to keep the peace.

6. Try not to disagree with him in public.
This means that Pastor Bae will talk to you about his grievances behind closed doors, whether you like it or not.

7. Consider being his biggest supporter. 
As the first lady, in public you will have to stand with your man. There will also be moments where his imperfections or fears will be known – this is when you have to encourage him. In Pastor Wants A Wife Season 2 we saw how Carol was there for Pastor Tshego when he faced his fear of heights. He also enjoyed it when he received compliments, such as when Elinah told him that he smelled nice.

8. Find out about the sacrifices you will make. 
How often will the early, long drives to the church be, especially is your home is several hours away from it? Consider how far will your home be from schools (if you are a mother), and the things that you are comfortable with now.

9. You will meet his family and church early on in the relationship. 
Check out his family dynamics. How does his family treat you and how do you feel about it? Consider how involved he is with his family and what role do each of them play in his life.

10. Be ready to be vulnerable with him. 
On several occasions we have seen that Pastor Tshego revealed he is trying to find out more about a particular woman, including Eunice. We have also seen how the pastor grew closer to women (like Dudu) who seemed to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Vulnerability also allows you to show that you trust them – Dudu was vulnerable when they went river rafting, she didn’t want to do a particular activity until Pastor Tshego convinced her to do so. He said he liked that she trusted him.

Watch Pastor Wants A Wife Season 2 on Wednesdays at 20:00 on Mzansi Magic (Channel 161) or the DStv App using any connected device. You can also watch the season one on Showmax. Join the conversation on Twitter, using the hashtag #PastorWantsAWife.