Are we on the same page in this relationship?

29 July 2015
Are we on the same page in this relationship? Image : 552

Last week Friday, the much anticipated new Mzansi Magic drama premiered! It’s Complicated came on with a number of issues that most of us can relate to, isn’t it? The show’s lead character, Ipeleng, is seemingly in a not-so-happy relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Thato. And Thato bandla, seems to be a genuine and loving brother who’s just not in the space that Ipeleng would love him to be in.

So let’s zone in a little on Ipeleng and Thato’s relationship. Ipeleng Radebe has successfully achieved all her goals except marriage to Thato Zembe, and she decides to implement a strategy to resolve this with dismal results. Thato forgets about their 7 year anniversary and returns home a little more than ‘buzzed’ from a ‘turn up’ nabangani. Of course this upsets Ipeleng and as perhaps predicted, he is left to sleep on the couch. His attempt at making it up to Ipeleng lands him out of her house and on the streets with his clothes in refuse bags!

How many of us find ourselves in relationships in which we we find that we are not on the same page with our partners? Where we expect more than the other can give ? And in Ipeleng’s case, how do we make sure that we are always aware of the position, feelings and and wants of the person that we are in a relationship with?

Melanie Pinola in “Five Communication Mistakes almost Every Couple Makes” (lifehacker.com), suggests that one of the mistakes made is that one partner will expect the other to read their mind. She says, “Remember that time your significant other was supposed to do something you wanted but later you found out he or she had no clue? Yup, try as we might, humans aren't great at reading each other's minds. (We have a hard enough time understanding what we do communicate clearly to each other.)”

She also says that, “Sometimes it's just a matter of being clearer, more upfront, or knowing the best way to communicate with your partner that's at the core of better communication. Equally important, though, is making the effort to understand things from your partner's perspective—something we might not always remember to do. Empathy is the most important skill you can practice, personally and professionally. You don't always have to agree with the other person, but at least you'll both be on the same relationship page.”

So perhaps our Ipeleng has a bit of work to do where her relationship is concerned. She must not expect poor Thato to read her mind and to further ensure that they are on the same page, she will have to be more clearer and upfront when communicating with her partner. But the question is, will she or will she continue playing mind games with Thato?

It's Complicated repeats Saturdays at 16:00 and Tuesdays at 21:30. Follow Mzansi Magic on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and WeChat and be part of the conversation.