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Signs you’re in a toxic relationship – Ithonga

News24 December 2025
Not all love is worth riding for.
Black woman and man hugging

Toxic relationships don’t always start loud, sometimes they grow quietly through control, obsession, and emotional imbalance. Zama and Phinda’s is a chilling example of how love can turn dangerous.

1. One person holds all the power

In a healthy relationship, decisions are shared. Between Zama and Phinda, control flows in one direction. Zama pulls the strings while Phinda carries out her dirty work, risking his life and reputation to please her.

2. You’re a backup, not a priority

Zama’s attachment to Phinda is rooted in convenience, not commitment. After Banele or Sanele leaves her hanging, Phinda becomes her second choice, a placeholder rather than a partner. This has happened, time and time again.

3. Dangerously in love

Perhaps the darkest red flag is how Zama’s plotting spirals into violence. Her schemes against Mbali escalate to the point where Phinda plants a bomb,  all in the name of proving loyalty. When love demands criminal acts or moral compromise, it is no longer love, it is destruction. RUN!

4. Obsession disguised as devotion

Perhaps for Phinda, having the one thing he always obsessed over, feels like some kind of serendipity. His identity has become tied to pleasing her, even when it costs him everything. Real love empowers; obsession consumes. This ship emulates a consuming fire, that will burn down everything it touches.

 

What viewers have to say about this ship:

Their storyline challenges viewers to recognise that not love is worth riding for. Watch how this complex and dangerous dynamic continues to unfold, weekdays at 20:30. Join our conversation using #iThongaMzansi on  Facebook, XInstagram, and TikTok.