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The Wedding Bashers


When Will You Get Married? – Wedding Bashers

24 January 2019
The primary colour you are wearing today has all the answers

Ah! Walking down the good ol' aisle! Many dream of it - and many still, couldn't be bothered. If you're the former, we've got some good news for you. We can probably predict if and when you will jump the broom. "But how?" you crow, eyebrows twitching.

Did you know that the primary colour you are wearing right now says a lot about your personality (no it doesn't) and your love style (nope) - and therefore speaks loud and clear where possible future weddings are concerned? (Again, no. But we've come this far) Amazing, right! Okay, so now that we have tackled the science bit of this phenomenon, let's get into telling you when you will get married. Remember this is only accurate if you use the primary colour you are wearing today as reference. GO!



Fiery, outgoing and passionate, you're usually the life and soul of the party and are the perfect partner in crime (mostly hypothetical, but sometimes real crimes, like fashion ones). Anyone who meets you wants to jump the broom immediately, so you'll either get married earlier than most (before you hit 25) or you'll get hitched in your '60s, because your oats *has *to be sown. Basically, we're not saying you are a player, but...




You're a positive, happy-go-lucky person who makes everyone around you smile. People are always drawn to your blinding smile and your positive aura. You'll probably get the house on the hill, the dog and maybe 2.5 kids soon after your perfect wedding, which will happen when you turn 34, which will obviously inspire burning jealousy in your circle. If not then, you'll definitely get married before 50 - and no one will be jealous. They'll have been married long before you - and will probably be tired of picking up their spouse's toe-nail clippings off the carpet every day.




Cool, calm (most times) and collected - you want to take your time with everything, including marriage. You'll probably get hitched in your 40s because everything's got to feel right in your gut. Or you won't get married because your partners will wait and wait and wait for the "perfect time", which will never come. But you'll be okay with that, because being in a miserable anything, has never been your thing.




Everything you touch grows - from the people in your circle, to the pimple that's breaking your beautiful face right now. That's what happens when you have the midas touch! Your partner will be drawn to you for this very reason. You will help build an empire for your family. Think Kris Jenner, but without the insane millions in the account and obvs no sex-tape. You're definitely getting married anywhere between 35 and the big four-oh! 




You love order and are the most organised and dependable person your family and friends know. This absolutely means you will be an organised, dependable spouse. You'll get married at 47 because you'll be too busy organising other people's weddings, instead of focusing on planning your own. But you don't mind one bit.




Marriage, schmarriage, remarriage; you'll probably take the walk down the good ol' aisle more than once. Both marriages may happen anytime. For real. Even next month.




You are hard on the outside, but soft and sweet and delicious on the inside. Everyone who takes the time to get to know you, is always pleasantly surprised at the layers they unravel. You'll get married anywhere between 35-45. 




You've had your wedding planned out since you were a kid - and whether it likes it or not, that wedding is going to happen! You're sweet and caring, so your spouse won't even think twice about spending their forever with you. Question is when? We think any time, is tea time.

So there you have it! Go ahead and tell your overbearing mother that the wedding is coming - and you have proof. You're welcome!

Footer notes

*We completely made all of this up

The Wedding Bashers was conceptualised by Gavin Wratten and is produced by [sic] Entertainment. Watch the finale this Sunday at 18:00, only on M-Net channel 101. Watch interviews with the Bashers and wedding couples from The Wedding Bashers here. Follow the conversation on social media using #WeddingBashers.