If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that if you’re going to survive an apocalypse you’re going to need yoga pants, a couch, and a remote control. OK, so maybe the current pandemic is not quite an apocalypse; but it’s certainly made us realise that the notion of one may not be as far-fetched as we’d like to think. So just in case an apocalypse rolls around that requires a little more action, here’s how to prepare.
Pack an emergency evacuation bag à la Sheldon Cooper.
The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper turned out to be right about so many, many things. Remember how paranoid he’d get when anyone got sick and he’d put distance between himself and the sick person or anyone who’d been in contact with them? Smart move. Remember how he’d have emergency preparedness drills and pack an emergency evacuation bag? Smart. No matter what, Sheldon was always prepared for anything that might befall humanity. He even had a zombie apocalypse clause in the roommate agreement – which brings us to our next point.
If people are getting bitey, don’t get bitten.
You know how teenagers inspect dark basements, kids look under the bed, and people in Fight Club talk about Fight Club? Well, the same disregard for the rules gets people in zombie movies and zombie shows bitten by zombies, then turned into zombies, and then not dispatched of, in some misguided belief that they won’t turn. Honestly, the next time you see basic rules flouted, just switch to watching gorgeous guys eating raw fish or Zendaya and Hunter Schafer display their amazing talent 👇🏾
If people are getting sick, wear a mask.
This rule’s close to home, as we know all too well – as do the characters in The Stand. A new miniseries adaptation of Stephen King’s 1978 post-apocalyptic novel, it sees a weaponised strain of flu wreaking havoc on the human population. Our present may not be as bleak as The Stand’s future, but the need for a mask is the same in both realities.
Watch The Stand Mondays at 22:30 on M-Net or stream it on Showmax.
Wield a book.
Pick up a book, and make sure it’s science fiction. Yes, many of them are doorstop-sized, but not all of them. There are also plenty of short stories, novellas, and fan fiction that imagine a future devastated by environmental collapse, cyber warfare, machines gone mad and, you guessed it, global pandemics. Even the U.S. military uses sci-fi writers as a means of devising strategy for future warfare. By picturing future scenarios, science fiction is laden with warnings and disaster preparation tips, but also possible solutions. Plus, if a zombie’s headed your way, your doorstop-sized book can double as a weapon.
Watch and learn.
When you’re not reading sci-fi, you should be watching it. Raised by Wolves is a new science fiction series that was shot in Cape Town, but is set on a distant planet (because Earth’s been destroyed). It’s got David Bowie inspiration, former Vikings’ star Travis Fimmel, is full of philosophical musings (like all good sci-fi should be), and has acclaimed director Ridley Scott behind the lens for the first two episodes.
It’s hardly the first scary future Ridley Scott’s helped bring to the screen. Remember the evil corporate machinations at work in his films Blade Runner and Alien? What does this teach us? Pay attention to sci-fi! Maybe aliens won’t burst out of your chest. Maybe we won’t destroy Earth and be forced to move to Mars aboard Elon Musk’s rocket. But the need for social distancing and danger of fomites mentioned in the 2011 movie Contagion turned out to be vital advice in 2020. So wash your hands, pull on your yoga pants, and pay attention.
Watch The Stand on M-Net or stream it Showmax.
Feature image: Getty Images.