Schalk Bezuidenhout smiles.

Get ready for The Comedy Central International Comedy Festival.

Africa’s biggest comedy festival, The Comedy Central International Comedy Festival, now encompasses 19 gigs over six days with more than 60 comedians across multiple venues in Johannesburg. Oh yes, it’s basically dripping in funny.

And here to whet our appetites is the lovely, always-jerseyed Schalk Bezuidenhout:

 

So if you'd like to get to know Schalk a little better? Well so do we - so we created the fictitious DStv Destiny Dating profile! Have a look at what he filled in:

DStv Destiny Dating - Schalk

My best quality is: My sense of humour, obviously. I have a great sense of humour. I can really sense humour. Humour sensing is a great quality of mine.

I’m so fresh because: I wash every day. Mother's orders.

I’ll wow you with my: My thin moustache. You'll think it's just my nose's shadow, until you realise that it's actually my moustache.

Girls usually stop and stare at me because: They don't understand why I am wearing a knitted Christmas jersey in summer.

When the funky music comes on, my moves: Disappear and I creepily stand in the corner and sip my beer through a crazy straw.

I like long walks on the treadmill and watching the sunset on TV.

What I look for first in a lady is: If she carries candy in her handbag. I need to be rewarded for good behaviour. Like a dog.

If you come over, I’ll cook: Bacon and eggs, so I hope you come over in the morning. If you come over in the evening, you will still receive bacon and eggs.

And I’ll spoil you with: Spoilers.

Baby if you chose me: It would probably be a waste of your time, because I have a girlfriend. I'm really just on this dating website to make friends. I have no friends.

 

Catch Schalk and his thin moustache in The Afrikaans Show at The Comedy Central International Comedy Festival. 

Have a look at what you can expect:

Other comedians on the bill at The Comedy Central International Comedy Festival include AriesSpears, Basketmouth, Cape Town Comedy Club featuring Kurt Schoonraad, Carl Joshua Ncube, Casper de Vries, Celeste Ntuli, Chris Forrest, Churchill, Darren “Whackhead’ Simpson, David Kau, Deep Fried Man, Devin Gray, Dillan Oliphant, Ebenhaezer Dibakwane, Eugene Khoza, Gavin Kelly, Goliath & Goliath, Griffy 2Trillion, Hannes Brümmer, Hannibal Buress, Jay Boogie, Jeff Ross, John Vlismas, Khanyisa Bunu, Lungelo Ndlovu, Marc Lottering, Martin Evans, Melt Sieberhagen, Mo Magic, Mo Mothebe, Mojak Lehoko, Mpho Popps, Nina Hastie, Prins, Robby Collins, Richelieu Beaunoir, Salvado, Schalk Bezuidenhout, Simmi Areff, Skhumba Hlophe, Smowkey Nyembe, Snooze, Tats Nkonzo, Tracy Klaas, Trevor Gumbi and Yaaseen Barnes.

*T&Cs apply