Sat 23 May 2015, 07:44
The housewife next door could also be on Hibiscus Lane.
Meet the desperate housewife that lives next door. We all know them. Some we love, some we hate but we all interact with one of them.
Here are the real African housewives who make things just a little more louder and more interesting for the neighbours.
Desperate Housewives Africa airs Thursdays at 22:00 on Ebony Life TV channel 165.
The perfect one
She is the church going, chama (women’s group) having, PTA member who runs her house with the veracity and strictness of a military sergeant and a Kiboko (cane) at hand. She is the one who everyone imagines is the perfect everything but the work it takes to maintain this image is a lot. She would sooner claim her teenage daughters pregnancy is hers than admit that to err is human. The phrase "What will the neighbours think" is uttered and thought about at least 50 times a day. Ladies and gentlemen meet Ese De Souza.
The sweet one…also the clumsy one.
She is the one who always seems to have bad luck that can include anything from having her husband cheat on her to being accidentally locked out of the house naked. She is a well-meaning neighbour who can be a bit of a push over but don’t push her to the corner because you may just awaken her vindictive streak, unintentionally of course. You might feel the need to protect her but you will also not want her run of clumsy luck. Enter stage left Tari Gambadla.
The glamorous one
She is the one with the life and husband everyone wants and she knows it. She will rub it in your face about how fabulous her life is and about how even going to the village has to be done in 1). Pomp and circumstance and 2). They must stay at a hotel if there is no palacial village homestead. Her fabulosity oozes out of every pounded yam pot that she makes with the manicure always on fleek. Kiki Obi is the quintessential spoilt brat housewife.
The bossy offspring maker
She can’t help but be bossy to everyone around her. But the beauty about it is that she has sooo many kids she has no time to be bossy to anyone else but her kids… and husband… and househelp… and friends… Well she can’t help herself and, to be honest, she is a little scary. Tada! Meet Funke Lawal.
She is the one everybody goes to for some tips on life. Even when your kids are acting up, aunty advice comes along and takes the reigns in trying to talk some sense into them. She is polite, reasonable, always there to be a shoulder to cry on and always focuses on the bigger picture to try and make you see it with her. In a nutshell, she is the perfect friend to everybody and will hold your hand when your husband decides to take a second wife. Rume Bello is that perfect friend.
The raunchy one
She is modern and embraces every sense of her sexuality. Since this is still a little taboo in society, she might not have many friends in the neighborhood. She is, however, always around if she is not off with her lovers. The fact that she is a lone wolf makes her allure all that more mysterious and enticing. Rhetta Moore is the vixen.
Well she is always in everybody's business and has no problem going through your stuff in your home just to see if she will find any juicy details. Mrs. Benson is the estate grapevine but, if we are really honest, all the housewives have a little gossip in them, the story just has to be good enough for them to come out.
You can catch up with a stack of episodes on DStv Now or on the Catch Up feature on your DStv Explora and get in on the drama on Hibiscus Lane.