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My Flatmates


The compound’s worst tippers! – My Flatmates

18 May 2021
We take a look at the Flatmates’ tipping habits and score them out of 10. 
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Outside the hair-cutting and gatekeeping, Titus and prosper are always up and down this Lagos, running errands for the mates and their mates, and while some tip like they were sent by village gods, others, eh?! Shameful! Here’s how our favs fare as tippers.

Frank the Man (8/10)

Arguably the most indecisive but generally generous tipper, Frank will not mind dashing Prosper 5k to take care of his ‘vermiums’ and bring him gossip about Mimi (and others). In fact, bros is so generous (mostly after a successful comedy show), he often brings sponsored good for the lads to enjoy. Remember when Titus was swimming in malt and Chin Chin? Ehe! But avoid catching him on bad days o!

Obus, Barrister cheap (5/10) 

Oya, we couldn’t count how many times Titus and Prosper uttered “thunder fire you” after collecting miserable post-errand tips from the compound’s most shrewd Barrister if we wanted to. The lawman is so stingy, he and Chief once used rejected banknotes to settle a bill at Koko’s. In fact, he’s often involved in the flat’s food wars and would do anything to pay less than a penny, unless he’s offered a good return on his investments. In fact, 5 is too much for bros. Give him 3!

Bam slam Dan (6/10)

Dan isn’t all that bad if we’re being totally honest. Assin, bros no be better person given the fact that he scams the living daylight out of people, but whenever the harvest is great bros shares. Like recently when everyone was trying to avoid paying an extra 1k to have their food delivered from Koko’s and decided to send Prosper for a quick run. Instead of the 1k for multiple trips, Dan offered 2k for each item bros would have to collect. You call it forming rich, we call it ‘giverism’! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Not so chiefly Chief Donatus (4/10)

We stay questioning Donatus’ chieftaincy not because bros doesn’t look the part o, but because he simply doesn’t act it! For someone with acres of land back in the village and rich travel experiences, Chief rarely has a penny to spare for anything... Even his own meals. Ya’ll remember when he took one of Sandra’s fine friends to Koko’s and insisted on chopping the bill into tiny bits and paying the smallest while Nnduka was left to cover the rest. E shock us pass!

Bros Nnduka and Auntie Sandra (7/10)

Biko! How do we even expect Sandra to dash any tips when she’s always complaining about Nduka not giving her enough money? Ehe! The couple isn’t so bad given the fact that they feed and house Titus, but they could do better o! 1K here and 2k there won’t hurt! 🤭

Jite and Tijeri (10/10)

These newlyweds are smart, sha! The total score isn’t because they tip anybody o, but because there’s no way they’ll pay someone to do what they can do for themselves. Tijeri is so woke, Jite thinks twice before crossing her and using his earnings on drinks with the guys. Homegirl get eye eh, she even invited herself to her husband’s bachelor party. Kudos Auntie, you are doing well! 🌚

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