Although I’m not Voted for and people only ever refer to me as ‘the ninja’, I have so much access to the Housemates that it isn’t limited to the physical realm. I see and can almost touch their tears, I’m almost always dragged down by their laziness and their pepper noodles almost always have me cringe even without tasting them.
Tasks were always a truck load when there were still 20 of them. I mean, I’ve had to re-negotiate my wages with Big Brother (We all remember the HR blow). Now that there’s only 9 of them, I feel like the load has doubled, literally. Talking about Tasks, I’ve had to warn Biggie about ‘colour coded, under 12’ puzzles quite a number of times because it was painful for me to watch the poor Housemates struggle a good 10 minutes to put together puzzles we’d actually borrowed from the local Kindergarten and failing to go over lifeless logs. However, they did impress me quite a number of times with their acting and under par singing; they obviously aren’t a bunch Simis.
Foes For Food
Recently, I’ve had to deliver some platters to help the Housemates celebrate their recent victories. After an entire week of curbed eating, thanks to their Wager loss, not even my mask prevented me from smelling their hunger. They were literally praying that Biggie has them unfreeze so they could indulge and break their involuntary fast. I’ve witnessed quite a number of food brawls and meat counting spurts and I must say, the Housemates seem to like food more than they like each other. I know I’ve already mentioned the pepper noodles but if Biggie could ban them from having any pepper, I’d celebrate; maybe even walk mask free, or not.
I'm All In
I’m not a lazy clock watcher or anything. My job may be limited to delivering birthday cakes and cards, silently enforcing the rule during arena Tasks, delivering briefs and all the logistics but I kind of do feel their emotions, sometimes urged to mediate when unnecessary fights break out and am almost moved to tears when having to escort Evictee who’s had to say goodbye to their multimillion Naira dreams and go back to their realities. Basically, I see them smile, I watch them celebrate victories and watch them go hysterical and most unpleasantly, I watch them laze around in bed all day; and when they see me, they know it’s about to get lit.
Ahneeka, Anto, Khloe, Ifu Ennada, Princess, Vandora, Angel, Bitto, Dee-One, K.Brule and Leo are all up to be Voted back into the House. Vote for your favourite here or via SMS. Voting closes on Thursday 22 March at 21:00 WAT. Big Brother Naija is proudly sponsored by Payporte, and is available on all DStv packages, and on GOtv Max and GOtv Plus. For more information on Big Brother Double Wahala follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.