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Oscars 2011 Liveblog

By Joseph | Mon, 28 Feb 2011

20:31 You know who's really funny? Alec Baldwin.

20:33 Alec Baldwin's dreams narrated by Morgan Freeman? I'd watch that.

20:34 Some good lines in the opening bit: "I loved you in Tron" "Microphones get smaller".

20:36 Back to the Future? Seriously?

20:39 Anne Hathaway just got upstaged by her mom (who has way better timing than James Franco's gran).

20:44 So is Alice in Wonderland the new Gone with the Wind or the newTitanic? I'm confused. Tom Hanks looks terrified.

20:46 Wally Pfister bears amazing resemblance to Kiefer Sutherland. Kept waiting for him to headbutt one of the hosts.

20:52 Kirk Douglas gets standing ovation!

20:53 Not sure what he's saying, but he's definitely got charisma.

20:56 Douglas gets some of the best lines of the night so far. And has great timing! Colin Firth is laughing: my pick for next big Internet meme.

20:58 Melissa Leo wins Best Supporting Actress for The Fighter. Great chemistry with Douglas. I don't feel right typing that last part...

20:59 Leo drops the F-bomb! First ever during an acceptance speech? Definitely first one inspired by Cate Blanchett during an acceptance speech.

21:02 Justin Timberlake's turn to upstage the hosts "I'm Banksy".

21:05 Melissa Leo didn't get played off, Best Animated Short did... want to remark on injustice, remember I'm blogging the Oscars...

21:08 Speaking of injustice, Toy Story 3's win for Best Animated Film was definitely not that.

21:13 Wow Anne Hathaway smiles a lot.

21:13 Did I just see Javier Bardem slow-dancing with Josh Brolin? Pretty sure that would rank around eight on the list of Top 10 female film buff fantasies. Especially since they're both in white tuxedos. Not sure it's working for them.

21:15 Sorkin calls out Chayefsky in his acceptance speech. Sounds more genuine than all the canned nostalgia on the stage.

21:16 It's Aaron Sorkin vs the orchestra. He ain't going nowhere!

21:18 Nice effects for screenplay noms.

21:19 Is anyone not going to get bigger laughs than Hathaway and Franco (Francoway? Hatho?)? Mayne JT and Mila Kunis.

21:22 Worst musical number in the history of the Oscars? At least since Rob Lowe's duet with Snow White (google it).

21:23 Franco goes all Gervais on Charlie Sheen. Gets his <s>only</s> biggest laugh of the night so far.

21:24 Why is Helen Mirren speaking French? And why is Russel Brand speaking?

21:29 Year of the lookalikes? Geoffry Rush looks like Bruce Willis's grandfather.

21:30 Bale wins Best Supporting Actor. Always jarring to hear him speak in his normal voice. He also takes the award for Best Facial hair and Worst On-air Plug.

21:36 The Oscars reach a new nadir of self-congratulation. Hear that? That was the sound of millions of people praying for Ricky Gervais to rush the stage.

21:37 Anne Hathway seems to be trying to channel Tina Fey. Maybe they should just let her host next year?

21:39 Masterpieces, shaping the future. We get it, Hollywood hearts Hollywood.

21:42 Reznor wins Best Score for The Social Network. All I can say is: he's no 3 Six Mafia.

21:44 Hathaway is channeling Tina Fey, Franco seems to be impersonating a text-to-speech computer program.

21:47 Inception getting some love in the technical categories. Waiting for one of the winners to spin his award around like a top.

21:52 Marissa Tomei receives blandest intro of the evening. Franco sounds bitter. What don't we know? The Oscar ceremony in my head is pretty interesting. Subtext!

21:54 First Hathaway channels Tina Fey, now Franco is stealing her lines!

21:58 Cate Blanchett is wearing a tea cosy. #justsaying

22:00 I think Anne Hathaway bribed that couple to sing and make her performance look better.

22:01 Obama likes As Time Goes By? What would Toni Morrison say?

22:03 Randy Newman is awesome! Toy Story is awesome! Those glasses are awesome! That's probably the most awesome that will be on stage all night, unless Jeff Bridges wins. For The Big Lebowski.

22:05 Since when can Zachary Levi sing? I blame Anne Hathaway for this.

22:10 Two jokes about Anne Hathaway making out with people? It's really not that funny.

22:13 If Tim Burton and Roberto Benigni had a sone, he would look like this guy. "I should have had a haircut" = understatement of the night?

22:15 The Oscars are aware of viral videos. Or at least some sort of weird quasi-viral videos that only exist in Oscar land. Maybe if the producers get lucky, the kids will think they're hip and put them on the Youtube.

22:17 If there's one thing Hollywood loves more than Hollywood, it's Oprah.

22:18 Audience seems embarassed by phrase "illuminating the human condition".

22:20 Charles Ferguson gives the 2011 Oscars their Michael Moore moment. Draws attention to the fact that no-one has gone to jail for fraud that led to global financial crisis. Gets more applause than Moore ever got.

22:26 It's Billy Crystal. Maybe he'll stay, maybe he'll stay...

22:28 Billy Crystal doing earnest is still funnier than Francoway doing funny.

22:28 So is CGI Bob Hope.

22:29 Pity two of the weakest Oscar hosts in recent memory have to share the stage with two of the strongest ever.

22:30 Wonder if Downey Jr is going to call Jude Law "massively mean-spirited"? Downey Jr definitely wins Best Segue of the Night.

22:32 In fact, my dream picks for next year's hosts: RDJ and Tina Fey. Or CGI Bob Hope.

22:32 Finally a reference to the Inception top!

22:42 Microphones have indeed gotten smaller. And they're gold.

22:42 Oscar audience: *bemused applause*. And who told Gwyneth Paltrow she can sing? Oh well, at least she's not ruining a Cee-lo this time.

22:53 It's smiley smurf!

22:54 Tom Hooper wins Best Director for The King's Speech. Looks like a young James Cameron, keep expecting him to shout "I'm the k-k-k-king of the world!"

22:56 "Triangle of manlove" involving Colin Firth: number three on Top 10 Fantasies of Film Buffs (gender neutral).

22:57 Franco-bot looks vaguely resentful every time he introduces another host.

23:04 Jeff Bridges! And he speaks a lot. Highlight.

23:08 Natalie Portman wins Best Actress for Black Swan. Clearly pregnant. Much less nervous than at the Globes. Award was much more expected.

23:12 Do you have to go through a painful, public separation to be respected by a person.

23:13 Sandra Bullock has great comic timing. Calls out the Dude. #win.

23:15 Best Actor intro possibly best of the evening.

23:16 Hmmm. Maybe new meme will be "Colin Firth is crying".

23:17 Firth wins Best Actor. Wears a tux as well as he wears a sweater.

23:18 Threatens audience with dancing. Now that's how you self-deprecate!

23:20 Whole Best Actor ceremony definitely highlight of the evening.

23:25 Anne Hathaway goes into full-on cheerleading mode when she introduces Steven Spielberg.

23:27 Nice montage of Best Pictures, but doesn't having the narrative from The King's Speech constitute a spoiler?

23:29 Especially because it wins!

23:32 And it's all over! Great year for films, not so much for the ceremony itself.

23:32 Kids on stage. Singing show tunes. It's too late for this. Why won't they just keep still. The swaying! The swaying!

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