DStv Self Service
DStv iPad App
DStv On Demand
Big Brother Africa
Attempting to login...
Login with your DStv Connect details
Enter your email address / username
Enter your password
Forgot your password?
Keep me logged in
By selecting “Keep me logged in” you will stay logged into this website on this computer until you click logout. If this is a public computer please do not use this feature.
Don't have an account?
Enter your registered email address
Create your DStv Connect account
This will allow you to login to all DStv websites & applications
Enter your email address
Enter a password
I accept the
terms & conditions
Already have an account?
Verification email sent
Thank you for signing up!
A verification link has been sent to your email.
We see you have changed your email address.
Please click on the verification link you have been emailed to reactivate your DStv Connect account.
Central African Rep
Must Watch Videos
Amnesia survival guide
Joseph Mosselson | Fri, 15 Jun 2012
It could happen to anyone: you're on a business trip, get into a car accident and wake up in hospital with no memory of who you are or how you got there.
But don't panic. We've compiled a handy survival guide to help you cope with that very situation!
First, find a mirror. Look in it; it’s helpful to know a bit about yourself. What colour is your hair, are your eyes, etc.
If you’re not sure if you’re looking at yourself, try rolling up your tongue. Only one in four people can do it, so if you can get it right you’ve got a one in four chance of being yourself.
The hospital may have logged your personal possessions when you were admitted. Getting hold of your wallet and cellphone can be tremendously useful in helping you figure out your identity. Your wallet may contain a driver’s license or Makro card with your name on it. If you’re very lucky, it may contain one of those cards where you get a sticker every time you buy a smoothie. This could help jog your memory. Think back. When was the last time you had a smoothie? Where were you, what flavour was it? Who were you with?
If you can’t get hold of your wallet, get hold of someone else’s. Other people’s wallets may contain cash, or credit cards that actually still have some credit on them. Try the doctors’ locker room in the hospital.
Your cellphone can tell you a lot about yourself. If it’s a Blackberry, you’re probably over 40 and work in an office park somewhere. If it’s an Iphone, you can use handy features like geo-location and photo-streaming to take a look back into your past:
If you’ve downloaded Danny K’s
Shout Against Crime
recently, you’re probably upper-middle class and listen to talk radio. If you’ve got LMFAO’s
Party Rock Anthem
as your ringtone, you really shouldn’t.
If your personal possessions include a passport, you can use it to figure out which country you’re in. Hotel lobbies are great places for dramatic confrontations, so if you get amnesia while you’re abroad, you’re in luck. Books of matches are a surefire way to identify which hotel you were staying in (handy hint: grab a couple before you get amnesia, even if you don’t smoke).
Once you’ve figured out which hotel is yours, go there immediately. Your wife should be the one person who knows you as well as you know yourself, so track her down as soon as possible. Hopefully she hasn’t check out yet.
If you wife claims not to recognise you, stop. Think. Is this necessarily a bad thing? After all, divorce lawyers can be expensive. If she looks like January Jones, however, it probably is, and you should do everything you can to jog her memory. Try rolling your toungue to prove you’re you.
If all of this fails, hit the streets. In all likelihood, you’ll come across a beautiful, exotic young woman with nothing better to do than help you discover the truth about your identity. Adventures may ensue. Go with it. This is your chance to become a whole new person.
Also, don’t forget to catch
, Sun 17 Jun at 20:05 on M-Net and M-Net HD.
MOST POPULAR READS
This week on BoxOffice: Lincoln
Champions Trophy semifinal picks
Unrest and good deeds on Carte Blanche
Video: Brad Pitt's numbers
What do you like? Click on the thumbs-up icon and share the shows you like.
DStv Mobile Walka 7
The Walka 7 is the very latest product from DStv Mobile that enables you to watch television on-the-go
Life of Pi
A young man who survives a disaster at sea is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" follows title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest
DStv HD PVR DECODER
Increase your picture quality now by buying the HD PVR decoder.
DStv Digital Magazine
On Demand PVR
© MultiChoice (Pty) Ltd
Share on facebook
Would you like to share this on facebook?